Saturday, October 17, 2009
Looks like im upto a wild goose chase these days, while i've been crying about the vile deeds of ppl all these days without realizing the fact that im doing nothing to do to be change the change i wish to see. Now it all has come to a standstill as i've been roped in literally from nowhere to accept the challenge and im very much excited except for the fact that the task that has been given is comparable to nothing less than to move a mountain with the teaspoon.
I had to agree for the fact that i could've intervened to conspire to move it a stone a day months before. While i could afford to comfortably blame the top echlons and their buddies buttressing them, i'd also like to think this as my failiure to change things, while the reason could've been many i still had been watching this all the while drifting away. I realize i must've been very selfish all the while. Neglecting as if these aren't my job and even if had to intervene i was constantly demotivated with all the words that they had used to describe my performance last year. But I shouldn't have let this happen though this was not at all in my purview.
Had a hour long brawl with the VGP man after having written him a looong mail accusing him of whatever i felt he did. But had felt very much remorseful later as i thought i was barking up the wrong tree and i was a overacting a bit harsh aloft emotially. Also that there is very little he could do to change himself and that i had been quite and let things happen this way all these years and that this has come to this stage.
Coming back to the challenge, we've been consistently failing as a team and i dont want to blame anyone for that. When we fail collectively as a team we should take the blame all by ourselves though its only few of us who have been tagged with responsibilities and we've lost track of the target looong ago. But now this had come back so strong to haunt us.
While we were almost certain that we'll slip from our committment for another time, our VGP man has been asked to lie low and reigns have been shifted (or rather withdrawn) by the top man and he want to steer the ship as we were still searching for the target. Just when the target seems nowhere at sign, we've been asked to steer in full throttle with a new navigator and all of us have been assigned with new (rather) roles and we had to hit the ground in less than 10days. Which although seems impossible, i though why not ??
While the Top man only tries to conjure\ season us for the uphill task with all his superfluous elating words i was thinking why shouldn't i buy these... Why shouldn't i take some motivation from his words for afterall this is what we've been lacking all the while, and especiall when the organization need you to fire and its that only you could help why should you be shying away. I've decided to grab the challenge with both my hands. Hope this entails in rebuilding the lost me.
I hope that i'll motivate others more than i've been motivated. Hoping things would fall in place somehow though all that we've planned have been falling apart. I wish to put up a brave fight without wanting to loose the war. I'd like to fight with all my spirits and the few men we have to battle it out the hard way. Lets hope to win !!! though i guess the end game has already begun...
Shall update all you guyz before the end of the month which is when the climax is most likely to occur. Sorry for musing on my work part again.... its been the most happening part of my life these days. Will come back soon.