Monday, May 10, 2010
Well... Its official now guyz.. im leaving... I mean atleast from this god-forsaken place where i've wasted all my precious youthful years unfruitfully. I donno if anybody would give a damn shit if some obnoxious little weed has got over its hapless, miserable or sorry state from where that got so institutionalized, was wasting its time around a pretty uncongenial place and was doltishly hoping to make better use of its never existant talents that a natural achiever in the corporate world inherits or rather cultivates.
Iam finally sick of cursing around blaming the biggies for not recognizing or rather realizing the talents from my vantage point. I know perfectly well (like my Ex-boss uesd to say) everybody has the right to feel betrayed given that so-called 'performance' in a corporate world. SOme for not getting triple-promoted, some for not being Product heads and so on. I guess its only the magnitude that differs and it doesn't matter whose woe is bigger.
The performance appraisal system that we had is so pathetic that even the bosses would say "this in no way reflects your performance or the way you worked". What in gods name would you call that kinda system where-in you dont relate your apprisal system to your performance. But as it turns out always the ones who enjoy the greatest visibility or pro-sombus are the ones called as outstanding performers and are awarded the life-changing breaks that are evident in any corporates like the Fast-Track Growth or Sponsorship for higher studies for instance.
Yes, I indeed am writing mainly to vent my anger that after wasting around 5 years nearly i am no one. Still left on the lurch bewildered, not knowing what I have done all the while. This after giving all the hard work (to me ofcourse - But certainly better compared to my peers i guess) and sacrificing all the options that came to my way (though too compelling in a way). I feel like I've had enough, have got my share and was way too stressed and it feels like i've gone so meek.
And now just like I've been musing all the while as to how I was so vibrant during my college days (The days fading away so fast like a distant dream) and how it all went like the taper wastes away. here iam still reminiscing the good old days where chuppandi is known for his courage, ruthlessness and knowledge. I just dont want to be like this anymore and i hope i can shrug-off this bad patch in my life the dire straits of my life is finally here to pass.
Well actually i dont want to complain anyone for my slothful life and this being a conscious choice of mine, im just angry at myself for doing this time and again. Angry at myself for buttressing these kiss-asses and praying demigods for that elusive grades that some of my peers were able to get 3years before and still hoping foolishly that things would change somehow or other
Things are not at all working out for me here... I am not the kinda guy luking for promotions and monetary awards all the time. But you cannot tolerate being taken for granted, demeaning in a way and are always victimized and still expected to deliver out of the most demanding situations. This precisely is what is the reason for which i chose not to stay even if means that i've got to go back to square one as i've let slip-away lot many opportunities that came my way. I dont mind even if I have to search something anew. getting mouthful of bashes from my mom/dad at home.
My boss just asked me for a reason when I gave him the letter as to what the reason is and that he'll not accept it without any, to which i replied for the last few years i've only been asking for reasons and more so some reformative or even scrutinizing feedback and that i ain't got no reply from anyone for that matter. Now why do you ask me a reason..... Lets see how things goes and will update you all on that....
Thanks for the read :)