Friday, March 27, 2009

What U Deserve ??!! think over it

It was quarter to one at night when I hit the door bell. My wife opened the door. She had been awake as usual. Waiting for me had become a daily routine for her. Unlike I expected, the house looked normal. I put my laptop on the recliner and went straight into my bedroom, freshened up and got busy with the book - "An autobiography of a yogi."

My wife came in with a piece of cake in her hand. "We waited for you till 9. But it was getting late and your parents pushed to carry on and finish", she said handing over that cake to me. Something stung me deeply for it was my daughter's first birthday. I had almost forgotten that I had a daughter and a feeling of guilt told me that I did not deserve that piece of cake; it felt heavy when the first bite went down my throat.

"Karthik," she used to call me by name, "look at me", she said. I turned my gaze away from the book onto her face. I saw tears in her eyes. "Have I, in the last two years, ever asked you why you come home late every day? Have I ever asked you to take me out with you, even to the temple that you go alone every weekend? Have I ever told you how it feels to attend family functions without you?" I turned back to the book. "Karthik, please look at me, will you? I need an answer today."

I always knew that I would have to face this sometime. "No, you wouldn't understand even if I tell", I replied. "Really? What is it? Please tell me. I know that you agreed to our marriage only because you did not want to disappoint your parents. I know that I'm your wife only for the sake of it. But why should Gaargi suffer because of all this? Doesn't she deserve to be called your daughter? What is her fault?" my wife asked with tears running down. She had never cried in front of me. I looked at my one year old daughter; Gaargi was special to me, for her name reminded me of a very special person in my life.

"Srishti, I am really very sorry. I don't know how to tell all this and I'm not sure how you'll take it. You are not my first love. I had never liked any girl in my life until I met a very nice person who, I decided, would not only be my first love but also the only love in my entire life", my eyes started to fill up, "I can never imagine my life without…" "Your mother told me. I know everything but I wanted you to tell", she interrupted. I wasn’t surprised; two years is a very long time for a secret to be kept in a family. It looked like she wanted me to somehow raise this and then she started.

"Karthik, have I ever made you feel that I had been betrayed by someone who I thought would be the only person in my life?" Her question confused me for a moment, 'Is she talking about me?' I asked myself. "He, not you, was the first man in my life and I too had dreamt that he will be the only one ever. But our relationship collapsed after 5 months of our engagement when I came to know that he was already married. My parents were more than broken when they found this out, for they were the ones who had found this person through some marriage bureau. I went into depression and had attempted suicide twice, but somehow survived. See, even God does not want me. So I decided to live on as life takes me, although I knew that I will not be able to forget any bit of it."

It took some time for all this to sink in. I was perplexed.

"Karthik, I know that you too had given all the love of your life to her. I also know that she never reciprocated your love and that she was never ready to accept you as her man even though you were ready to sacrifice yourself for her. But don't you think it should always flow both ways? Don't you think that it is not worth crying over someone who cannot feel your love? Is it fair on your part to ignore someone who is craving for your love and actually deserves it? Look into my eyes. Don't you see anything which suggests that I deserve to be loved by you? I know Karthik, I know that there's some space in your heart that has been made for me. I can see it in your eyes too. When I look into them I do not feel sad that there's a lot of pain in it. Instead I see that part of it which tells me that I'm not completely unwanted. So I ask you the same thing that you had asked her, 'Please give me a chance'. Don't tell me that you cannot love me even a little. I know you do and Gaargi is the proof."

I could not speak more. Srishti too could not. She rested her head on my shoulder. For the first time I kissed on her forehead.

I guess that is what one has to learn. First love is very special. It is something to be remembered for a lifetime but not something for which an entire life can be wasted in grieving over it.  

Sometimes you get what you want...
Sometimes you get what you need...
But you're always gonna get what you DESERVE !!!



Yenna kodumai saravanan ithu  


- Chuppandi

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

FW: [Trainers Forum] A Violinist in the Metro

This is a fabulous piece! Imagine, what all we miss in our 'hurried & harried' lives ... like William Henry Davies puts it in 'Leisure':


What is this life if, full of care,    
We have no time to stand and stare.    
No time to stand beneath the boughs    
And stare as long as sheep or cows.    
No time to see, when woods we pass,    
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.    
No time to see, in broad daylight,    
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.    
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,    
And watch her feet, how they can dance.    
No time to wait till her mouth can    
Enrich that smile her eyes began.    
A poor life this if, full of care,    
We have no time to stand and stare.
William Henry Davies

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousand of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.
A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Retirement Dinner

Retirement Dinner

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation were chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, and taken illegal drugs. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.".....


Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession."


The story is simply Great!!!

Guys, read this story


Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them,


"Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstance,


in every place and in every time.


Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me.


Tell me is there any mantra?"


  All wise men got puzzled by King's question.


One answer for all question? Something that works everywhere, in every situation, in every joy, every sorrow, every defeat and every victory?


They thought and thought.


After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealed to all of them. They went to the king and gave him something written on paper. But the condition was that king was not to see it out of curiosity. Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way, only then he'll have to see it.


The King put the papers under his Diamond ring.


After a few days, the neighbors attacked the Kingdom.


It was a collective surprise attack of the King's enemies.


King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle.


King had to fled on his horse. The enemies were following him.


His horse took him far away in the Jungle.


He could hear many troops of horses following him and the noise was coming closer and closer.


Suddenly the King found himself standing at the end of the road - that road was not going anywhere.


Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet deep.


If he jumped into it, he would be finished…and he could not return because it was a small road…


The sound of enemy's horses was approaching fast. King became restless. There seemed to be no way.


Then suddenly he saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and


he remembered the message hidden in the ring.


He opened the diamond and read the message. The message was very small but very great.


The message was - "Even this shall  pass away."


The King read it. Again read it. Suddenly something struck him- Yes! it too will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all his pleasure have gone.


I am here trying to escape from enemies.


However when those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too will pass. Calm come on his face.


He kept standing there.


The place where he was standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom. The revelation of the message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and forgot about those following him. After a few minutes he realized that the noise of the horses and the enemy coming was receding. They moved into some other part of the mountains and were not on that path.


The King was very brave. He reorganized his army and fought again. He defeated the enemy and regained his lost empire. When he returned to his empire after victory, he was received with much fan fare at the door. The whole capital was rejoicing in the victory. Everyone was in a festive mood.


Flowers were being thrown on the King from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing. For a moment King said to himself," I am one of the bravest and greatest King. It is not easy to defeat me".


With all the reception and celebration he saw an ego emerging in him.


Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded him of the message. He open it and read it again:

"Even this shall  pass away."


He became silent. His face went through a total change - from the egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness.


If this too is going to pass, it is not yours. The defeat was not yours, the victory is not yours. You are just a watcher. Everything passes by we are witness of all this. We are the perceiver.




Life comes and goes.


Happiness comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes.


Now as you have read this story, just sit silently and evaluate your own life. Think of the moments of joy and victory in your life. Think of the moment of Sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent? They all come and pass away. Life just passes away.


There were friends in the past. They have gone.

There are friends today. They too will go.

There will be new friends tomorrow. They too will go.


There were enemies in the past. They have gone.

There may be enemies in the present. They too will go.

There will be new enemies tomorrow and……they too will go.


There is nothing permanent in this world. Everything changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own perspective. You have seen all the changes. You have survived all setbacks, all defeats and all sorrows.


All have passed away. If there are problems in the present, they too will pass away. Because nothing remains forever.



Joy and sorrow are the two faces of the same coin. They both will pass away.


Who are you in reality? Know your real face. Your face is not your true face. It will change with the time. However, there is something in you, which will not change. It will remain unchanged.  What is that unchangeable?


It is nothing but your true self. You are just a witness of change.


Experience it, understand it…


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

True Colors - Bjorn Borg - Love for all


1. A friend shared this advertisement with me earlier today.

2. I like advertisements, especially those that get you talking or those that generally leave you feeling positive about the world we live in. This is one of them. It's also one of those advertisements that really keeps you guessing till the end. How you react at the end will probably be an indication of your own values, personality and outlook.

3. The Swedish company behind this advertisement, Bjorn Borg, comes across as a socially responsible entity. I am also not sure if the brand has anything to do with the tennis star of the same name. Nevertheless, it reminds me of other positive brands like The Body Shop. Unfortunately, the company doesn't have a presence in Asia so it's really hard to tell.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Life, what is it but a dream?

I would like to share with you one of my favourite poems by a poet who, I've always felt, did not get the accolades he deserved simply because of his phenomenal success as a writer of children's books - Lewis Carroll. The success of Alice in Wonderland overshadowed his poetry - despite the fact that many of his poems actually feature in his prose writings as an integral part of the story. As a writer of humorous verse and nonsense verse he has few peers. Unfortunately, as in prose so in poetry, humorous writers tend not to be taken seriously when the talk veers round to literary greatness.This is a poem in a different, dreamier, mood. Whenever I find myself exasperated by people talking about the feverish pace of modern life this poem springs to mind , especially the last five lines.

A Boat, beneath a sunny sky
Lingering onward dreamily
In an evening of July -

Children three that nestle near,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Pleased a simple tale to hear-

Long has paled that sunny sky:
Echoes fade and memories die:
Autmun frosts have slain July.

Still she haunts me, phantomwise.
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes.

Children yet, the tale to hear,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Lovingly shall nestle near.

In a Wonderland they lie,
Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die:

Ever drifting down the stream -
Lingering in a golden gleam -
Life, what is it but a dream?

[The initial letters of this poem when read downward give the full name of the original Alice (in Wonderland) - Alice Pleasance Liddell]

Apropos of what I've written above , I remain deeply sceptical about whether life has really become fast-paced. I'm often tempted to tell these 'fast-paced' people the story of the donkey chasing a carrot dangling in front of him, tantalisingly out of reach, unable to understand that it's dangling from a stick tied to his own body and that he's never going to be able reach it. The Promised Land is always going to be 'just around the next corner'. No, we've simply lost the ability to slow down, relax, introspect, to think of something other than the 'rat race'. Are we increasinly losing touch with our inner selves, with nature, with the finer things in life, things which cannot be measured in money? W.H.Davies had it right :

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

I've often been accused of being impractical and out of touch with the times. There was a time when I would be ready to argue the point spiritedly but these days, I just smile and let it go. Why give myself hypertension and ulcers? As for me, I'd rather be

Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die:

Ever drifting down the stream -
Lingering in a golden gleam
After all Life, what is it but a dream???