Monday, May 11, 2009

Pasted Smiles -of lives of abject despair

Many a times, everyone of us would encounter a situation in life where he/she moves around with what I would call as "pasted smiles". It’s a scenario where you know are feeling something within; and at the same time your ego doesn’t allow you to express what you feel within. At that point of time, even if you are so much overwhelmed by emotion that you would want to let out a wild outcry, what is seen on you is a smile on your face, which is completely artificial. You laugh around when there are tears flowing uncontrollably within you. You joke around when the only thing that you want is a period of solitude where you can get rid of your pains and tears. Its one of the trickiest scenarios in life. This situation of duality within you creates a whole lot of trouble within you; and makes your life extremely miserable – so much so that you ask that question to yourself; whether you deserve to go through all of these. Being in pain is one thing; but living through it as if it doesn’t exist is an entirely different cup of tea.

These "pasted smiles" phenomenon is what i am encountering often in my life all too often these days; too much for my comfort. Be it when I talk to my boss or when I converse with the security at my flatts, when I talk to relatives, strangers... It goes on.. Only that I feel that the reaction differs from person to situations. But its all the same, more reactive than expressing what I actually feel. The more I try to run away from it, it hits me at a much rapid pace that I am completely taken aback. There is an element of helplessness within me these days; which makes me get a resigned attitude though I believe I had come to terms with it as just another part of life.

At times I wounder have I forgotten to have what is called as a genuine laugh in life? Have I forgotten what it is to enjoy my life? I guess its becoming all too mechanical these days. The sense of being cynical is quickly catching up with me. Its come to an extent where I would be surprised when something good happens with me. Maybe that’s the best indicator that I am not traveling in the right direction in life. Its becoming increasingly aimless these days; its as if I am allowing myself to drift along with the strong strident waves of a rampant river. I am now struggling to give resistance to the bad things that happens within me; moreover I am starting to take it as the norm.

Its not that I am reluctant to change. But irrespective all my efforts to change the way I am, nothing seems to change. Its really troublesome; its really painful. Unfortunately I don’t find a way out. Is it that destiny has consigned me to live a life of despair riddled with pasted smiles all over? Don’t worry rest of the word; I am still smiling – even if its not exactly what I want to do at this point of time. I guess that’s what destiny has in stor for me – life of abject despair…

The Curious Case Of Fake IPL Player

The IPL is in full swing in South Africa. Apart from the cricket that is on show, something else hass captured the imagination of at least the world of bloggers. It's the blog from someone who claims himself to be part of the KKR team, giving out details about the ego clashes with-in the team, the way they prepare and react. True insider information stuff. As blogging world is completely buzzing about this, most of the readers are trying to find who this chap is. All in all, he has become one of the superstars of this IPL season. His blog has become one of the most sought after blog page in the country now. Lots of people are following this blog; so do I. Its become some sort of an addiction. There was a pause in his posting for a day or so; and rumors started flying around saying that he could have been caught and we may not get any more blogs from him. And then he resurfaces again every night. The popularity of his blog was so much that I got five sms messages from my friends following this blog when the update happened. Guess what, the entire world is waiting...

The good part of his blog is that he is saying things with a whole lot of satire and sarcasm. One cannot help but accept the fact that people love to hate the KKR. More often than not, its got to do with the flamboyance of its owner Shah Rukh Khan. And then there is the Dada angle as well. I don't think Indian cricket ever had a more polarizing figure than Sourav Ganguly. And when he was axed from the captaincy of the KKR team, people thought of a conspiracy angle to all of that, the foreigners were conspiring against him and the team owner was hand in glove with all of that. Hence the blogging world which I consider as a small sample size of the real world was waiting for an opportunity to latch on to something rotten in the KKR setup. They had a shot in the arm when this mysterious blogger surfaced. People accepted him with open arms. Everyone hopes that he is never caught and we continue to get this never ending doze of insider information about the team. The popularity of the blog is so evident from the number of comments he gets for each of his posts. One thing is for sure; even if his cricketing career is over once he gets caught, he can definitely make a living with his writings.

The best part of his blog are the names that he uses for the players in his blog. The best one for one Indian fast bowler hailing from God's own Country , 'Appam Chutiya'. I laughed like hell when I came across this name for the first time. Man… this guy has a seriously good sense of humor. The other names include, 'Prince Charles of Patiala' for Yuvraj Singh, 'Vinnie Dildo' for team owner SRK, 'Lordie' for Sourav Ganguly, 'Little John' for Ishaant Sharma, 'Sheikh of Tweak' for Shane Warne. Wonder how his guy managed to have such a good sense of humor… Every time I read his blog, there is a big grin across my face. I am pretty sure that would be the case for almost everyone who reads this blog, except the KKR guys. If they were given a choice, they would have shot this guy off from the edge of a cliff…he he...

You need to be damn brave to be able to write something like this. You are literally putting your head on the chopping block. Be rest assured that he is going to loose the contract once he is going to get caught. And he will be caught some day. coz all good things come to an end some day. But till that day comes, the cricket buffs in the blogging world would be treated to some seriously good insider information. Just enjoy the fun as long as it lasts.

Also while he decided to reveal himself after the final days play, he then seemed to have succumbed to fear it seems as he has post a poll now to know from ppl what they want him to do. Whatever happens a serious drama is always on the cards.