199What seems – never is! Maybe that is why India has earned so many accolades as the corruption capital of the world – okay Transparency Internationals Global Corruption Barometer puts India as the 70th most corrupt nation. Not very encouraging when India is near the bottom half of this list while dreaming of becoming a global super power. But the good thing about this whole thing is that it not only indicates that Indians are very creative, but also very adaptable (look at the country's history) – Darwin would be proud.
Consider the situation of the office of an Indian File Pusher (IFP) – it has a large desk, a chair behind it which is draped with a towel. The wall behind the chair may have a photo of Mahatma Gandhi, the President and the politician in power. There will be a large calendar to keep the IFP up-to-date. The office may have a small shrine with the deity of the IFP.
The desk is unique, on one side two plastic trays (in and out) carry the hopes of millions, while the other has a pen stand with a myriad variety of pens. There may be paper weights on the desk, but these are going out of fashion as air conditioners become the norm. A lidded glass of water stands as a sentinel close by. The desk has drawers on the side where the IFP sits – usually empty.
The drawer serves another purpose. It’s the unofficial collection box. This is what happens - someone comes with an urgent file, the person stands at the side of the IFP in deference while the IFP peruses the file. Some questions are asked which are answered vaguely. As the file is signed the person puts his hand into his pocket and in one deft movement drops a packet of notes into the drawer. This happened in front of me.
Consider the same IFP in a similar office. A file is brought to him - he opens it and out slips a little packet of notes into his lap. The file is quickly dealt with and then the offending packet is delicately put into the draw for later retrieval.
The handshake was always been a form of communication, communicating a greeting, a promise- okay it was also a way to pass information, you know, a crowded station two men in trench courts pass each other under the benevolent eye of clueless cops and as the two men pass one hand slips the other a vital piece of information that saves the world and kills one of them.
In India this has been modified into an art that ensures both parties not only survive but thrive. The parties in such situation are the cops (traffic species in particular) on one side and erring drivers on the other.
The traffic police usually work in teams they operate either from a motorbike or a jeep. What happens is that the lackey does the scouting while the senior person finds a comfortable spot on the parked bike or jeep and waits. The flunky sifts the wheat from the chaff and the manna begins pouring in.
This is how – the lackey flags down an erring vehicle and the first thing that he does is grab the ignition keys. Then he asks for documents from the erring driver and then goes to his boss who is sitting noncommittally on his vehicle – salivating. The boss looks at the documents shakes his head and takes out a form and begins filling it in all seriousness. This performance gives him a black and white picture of what is coming next court visits, vehicle impounded, sheaves of notes flying from his wallet into the hands of the government. The lackey sees these thoughts in Eastman Colour. He takes the erring waif aside provides a solution which is simple and suits everyone. No court, no impounding, no sheaves of money entering government coffers, just a little private monetary transaction.
The erring driver moves a little away and then pulls out his purse takes and out the suggested amount. He folds it into a very tiny innocuous piece of paper that fits neatly in the palm of his hand. The lackey hands over the documents to the driver and in grateful thanks he shakes hands with the lackey and thus passes the money. The lackey puts his hand into his pocket and saunters back to his boss. This process is followed till its time to go home (or the closest bar).
And so that is how Indians have gone ahead and improved and even improvised on age old traditions, they have found new uses for things to ensure that there is a win-win situation.
Indians have added an addendum to Darwin's theory – a win-win situation ensures that everyone thrives.
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