Friday, December 05, 2008

18 Reasons Why.... One must not marry a blogger.

I was highly amused when friend of mine brought up this topic over coffee. “So what are the reasons you think?”, I asked him. It was so amusing to hear the first few that quickly I had to grab a pen and notepad and jot down every single reason he told me. So here goes the list from a man’s point of view. If you think he forgot to add something, feel free to add it in the comments section.

1. You’ll know she is pregnant through her blog.
2. Whether you fart, scratch, snore, or forget the anniversary, it is all up there.
3. Before you get to know, the whole world will get to know that she is having trouble with her mother in law.
4. She will rant about how certain other blogs get more number of comments than she does though they write crap, and you are supposed to be sympathetic.
5. Should the template be Minima stretch or Minima lefty stretch? Template number 587 or 498? Tic Tac blue or stretch denim template? Certainly your decision making skills could be put to better use.
6. She claims that blogging is the only way of venting frustrations and letting out the steam whenever she is upset with someone. Including you.
7. You don’t want to live fearing the rest of your life that every morning you wake up, you’ll read a post starting “My husband is a…….”, with a hundred comments starting “Oh how could he?”, “He should…..” and “He should not……”.
8. You wake up from a nightmare that your wife has just made your darkest secret public, till you realize it wasn’t a nightmare. It was reality.
9. Every little nice thing you do for her will be up there on the blog. Every little mean thing you do to her will also be there up on her blog.
10. You are accountable for every female who comments on your blog, but you are not supposed to ask her about the males who leave comments on her blogs, because that makes you a suspicious, overtly jealous and possessive pig.
11. You are supposed to treat her out every time a blog of hers gets featured on DesiPundit or Blogbharti.
12. You are not supposed to take sides during heated blog discussions aka feline blog fights. You don’t have an opinion. You are her husband. You are to take her side. Always.
13. You would rather stay at home playing PSPs on the weekend than accompany her as the faithful puppy to be showed off at the local monthly blog meets.
14. Sometimes, the only way you can understand what’s up on her mind and why is she acting weird is by reading her blog. To discover that she was just having her periods.
15. Again and again, you will be given kasams to not read certain blog posts of hers. The whole world can know about it while it has to be a secret from you. And if you don’t, you are not giving her space or respecting her privacy.
16. You are in the middle of a Barcelona vs. Real Madrid game at your best buddy’s place when you get an SOS call from a common philanthropist friend- “Run home. You just forgot your wife’s birthday and it’s all over there on her blog”
17. You are not supposed to get jealous when you read about how she met her college crush and had coffee with him when you read it in her blog.
18. The world wasn’t supposed to know that you sleep in your superman underwear.

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