Well.. that explains why im often lost looking up the sky night and day... :P

Jokes apart thatz a great message from C&H that quite often the problems we ponder with aren't as deathening as we used to think.. there are hell a lot more of important things in and beyond the world that we live today...

*** Credits to me for inventing the word deathening :P this isn't no big a problem either.. 

Heights of Communication Gap- Wonderfull Joke....... !

Ha ha ha...

Mr. Verma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs.Verma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.
"Am I speaking to Mrs.Verma?"
"Yes...... speaking"
AEC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the AEC guy.
"What are you saying? It's in your files...... HOW?????"
"Yes ... We have a system of finding out who's overdue"
"GOD!!!!!!......... This is too much.........."
"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"
"I know that. Let me talk to my husband about this tonight. .... he will speak to your company tomorrow "

That night, she tells her husband about the call, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?
What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at AEC, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a CANDLE."

FW: GOOD ONE - Anger Management

Really funny.. Cant help but laugh out loud...

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying 'Hello.'

I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude .

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an as***shole!' and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'as***shole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an as***shole!' It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therap- eutic 'as***shole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an as***shole!' and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been wait ing for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first as***shole (I had is number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW as***shole, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?' He said, 'Yes, it is.'

I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?' He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . It's a yellow ranch, and the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?' He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,'

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?' He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said, 'Yes?'

I said, 'Don, you're an as***shole!'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two as***sholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called as***shole #1. He said, 'Hello.' I said, 'You're an as***shole!' (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah,'

He screamed, 'Stop calling me,'

I said, 'Make me,'

He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said, 'As***shole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a yellow ranch, I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, as***shole,' and hung up.

Then I called As***shole #2. He said, 'Hello?' I said, 'Hello, as***shole,'

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said, 'You'll what?'

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,'

I answered, 'Well, as***shole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I got there just in time to watch two as***sholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.

AN INDIAN MARKETING MAN - VERY FUNNY

Manager: "Do you have any sales experience?"

Indian salesman: "Sir, I was a salesman back home in India."

Well, the boss liked the Indian so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"

Indian boy says: "Sir, Just one sale."

The boss says: "Just ONE? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day." If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale for?"

Indian boy says: " $101 237. 64"

Boss says: "$101 237. 64? What did you sell?"

Indian boy says: "Sir, First I sold a small fishhook, then a medium fishhook, a large one and a new fishing rod with some fishing gear.

Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down on the coast, so I told him he'll need a boat, so we went down to the boating department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft.

Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to our automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer.

I then asked him where he would be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents.

Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss said: "You're not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?"

Indian boy says: "No Sir, actually he came in to buy Anacin for his headache, and I
said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind."...

FW: Nice one

Nice one i got thro mail

A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his wife,lost his children and lost his job...

He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it.

He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing,

"You are the reason I don't have a wife",
second bottle, "You are the reason I don't have my children",
third bottle "You are the reason I lost my job".

He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer.
He takes the bottle, puts it aside and says
"Stand aside my dear friend; I know you were not involved"

Corny joke - I'm warning you!

Q. What did baby corn say to mama corn?

A. Where's popcorn ????

Joke was found at AJokeADay

Funny isn't it !!!

Don't Copy if you can't paste

At a training program for top management a well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.

About a week later, one of the top managers who had attended the training decided to use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him. He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!" Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring. After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was !" As expected, he got thrashing of his life time....

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste.