Ways to Kill Ideas

The realinnovation article is very interesting - it is titled Ten Ways to Inhibit Innovation - the 10 ways are

(1) Criticize
(2) Ban Brainstorms
(3) Hoard problems
(4) Efficiency focus not Innovation
(5) Overwork
(6) Adhere to Plan
(7) Punish Mistakes
(8) Do Not Look Outside
(9) Promote Like people
(10) Do Not Train.

Well to the list we can add following 40 idea killer phrases (from Reference: “What A Great Idea” by Charles “Chick” Thompson, 1992, HarperCollins Publishers)

1. "Yes, but. . . "
2. "We tried that before."
3. "That's irrelevant."
4. "We haven't got the manpower."
5. "Obviously, you misread my request."
6. "Don't rock the boat!"
7. "The boss (or competition) will eat you alive."
8. "Don't waste time thinking."
9. "Great idea, but not for us."
10. "It'll never fly."
11. "Don't be ridiculous."
12. "People don't want change."
13. "It's not in the budget."
14. "Put it in writing."
15. "It will be more trouble than it's worth."
16. "It isn't your responsibility."
17. "That's not in your job description."
18. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks."
19. "Let's stick with what works."C
20. "We've done all right so far."
21. "The boss will never go for it."
22. "It's too far ahead of the times."
23. . . . laughter. . .
24. . . . suppressed laughter. . .
25. . . . condescending grin. . .
26. . . . dirty looks. . .
27. "Don't fight city hall!"
28. "I'm the one who gets paid to think."
29. "What will people say?"
30. "Get a committee to look into that."
31. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
32. "You have got to be kidding."
33. "No!"
34. "We've always done it this way."
35. "It's all right in theory. . . but. . ."
36. "Be practical!"
37. "Do you realize the paperwork it will create?"
38. "Because I said so."
39. "I'll get back to you."
40. . . . silence. .

I love this guy, an indian comic character. Not just that my pen is an inspiration of his, but becoz of the humor in his stories. its rather hillarious beyond reasoning. I've grown-up reading the stories from Tinkle and obviously this is the character which i still believe reflects the humor and character in me....



Below are some of his jokes, i hope to present some more later....



Suppandi's jokes


Master: suppandi, have you finished stitching the buttons on my shirt?

Suppandi: no master! i could not find any buttons.

Master: now how on earth will i wear that shirt to office?

Suppandi: i have stitched up the button holes instead. Now you won't need buttons any more.



Joke 1


Once Suppandi's master's book had been torn. Suppandi stitched it back with thread. His master advised him to use super glue to stitch or stick together anything as it gives better results. Then One Day-


Master: Suppandi, iron my new and expensive suit as it has to be worn on the wedding tonight. That evening-

Master: Suppandi, give me my suit.

Suppandi: Here it is.

Master: What has happened to it? What do you think you did to it?

Suppandi: The suit had been stitched together with thread, so I removed all the thread and stuck it together with super glue. Doesn't it give a much better result.

Master: S-U-P-P-A-N-D-I!!!! You're fired! Get out.


Joke 2

One day Suppandi was playing football with his master's son. He had been posted as goalkeeper. Then the opposition charged towards his goal and kicked the ball into the goal from right beside his legs. The masters son was boiling with anger.


Son: Why didn't you stop the ball Suppandi?
Suppandi: Why in the world should I stop it? What is the net in the goal for?


Joke 3


One day Suppandi and his master were returning from somewhere in the intense heat.


Master: The sun has darkened our skins Suppandi. Suppandi agreed. The next day-

Master: Suppandi! Get me a bottle of hair dye from the neighbouring store. After some time-
Master: Suppandi, didn't you get that bottle.
Suppandi: I went to