I guess there must be a con like me in every corporate company in India... Im the guy who strangely enjoys the warmth and the wrath of the austere and utter places in life.
I kind of feel the urchin in me is long gone. Its kinda strange and funny what life can do to you when you let people to play in your life. I can only keep reciting the words of balboa that that world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. Its a mean and nasty place and will beat you to your knees and keep you there if you let it.
5 Years almost. God when you say like that, you wonder when it went. Guess i am trapped-in so deep into the cobwebs of the world around me. I have only myself to blame for the desultruous and slothful state iam in.
well i actually wanted to start this as a funny one to post about the state of my slothful lifestye and about the fellow con's around me.
Like the red says when he talks about brooks emotions in the film S.Redemption
These walls are really funny, though you are virtually trapped in the blockades and figments of your own imagination, its like a quicksand. When you think things will be just fine one things goes wrong and another..... and another...... and another..... and that is when you think its all over for you and the spirit in you goes dim and takes the sheen out of the glory in all the work we do.
IT feels like you are getting happless as times go by... like the ash that flies away. Red says these walls, first you hate them and you get used to them. As enough time passes by you get so you depend on them. Thatz institutionalized. Having trapped here for life thatz exactly what they take away. Part that counts anyway... Thats the way I feel.
Its like a walkway where you know you could run past sprinting ahead of everyone but are only blocked by these slowly moving asses around. Like the calf in the cattle. First for a while its really hard to control when it runs amok but as time goes by, it gets matured along with his big cows and gets institutionalized with its surroundings. It goes rather impassive and learns not-to-give-a-damn-shit whatever happens. The same reason as to why the calf of the pachyderms even are tied with small chains...
This is the state of me and the fellow con's around me. They come here shining so bright radiating the spirit enlightening the place around and giving hope to everyone. But as days go by the shimmering light gives away all the feeble flame that it inherited and over time the once running stream gets coagulated with the shits blocking around which finds it very difficult to overcome.
But Some birds are never to be caged. They simply fly from one to another or rather re-orient themselves to different priorities. And most do enjoy the warmth in the desultorous (is thr a word like that ??) state lost in the madness burying their dreams feared of everything that could rock them from the rather ensconced position and slothful life. The world would seem so doomed to them. Not knowing the outside world and the pace with which its moving. Where new things set-in so rapidly.
But there are really some who gets all the breaks. Who balances well between shitting around and simultaneously soaring around among the shitters. But the irony is that you can't loose the real you to become that some. God.. wheny you see those wry smile around their face (Wryly smiling wily foxes), full of facades, selfish lives, odd demeanour, Faking friendships, hiding stymies and yet pretending and portraying and canonizing themselves as if like a saint. Gosh it feels like even hell would be a better place to live-in.
This is the only motivation urging you to move-on. Like the boy in the cohleo's Alchemist goes on in search of his dream, his destiny ignoring all the worldly comforts of the world. I guess the destiny is the place that you may never reach to. But one should always march towards his destiny in every walks of his life. His work, pastimes, play everything should only be related to his ultimate destiny. The place he may never reach to.
Having ended up here in itself is a rather unfortunate, awkward, inextricable and odd predicament. But whenever the unfortunate ones tries to slog around with-in his given boundaries hoping to be counted only finds himself being counted-out for being rather uninteresting i guess... Only those who flaunt their flamboyance, absurdity and selfishness are the ones who gets all the breaks. Then comes rather different breed the meek, faking, approbative and pro 'sombus'. One rather should end-up being in company of one or other.
I'd never get bemused a bit with all these wily acts for sheer success (in their own terms). For I know deep down inside me that who I am and what am I made of. No one can take from you what you have it in you. But I certainly feel for those (and myself at times) having wasting our times here still hoping to change things around, to be fair and sincere to everyone. I'd always luk for my passions to stay thirsty even if they doesn't matter anymore. Because here's where it makes the most sense. you need it so you dont forget. forget that there are places in the world that aren't made out of stone. there's something inside that they can't get to. that they can't touch. That's yours... Thatz Hope....
I am really hopeful that i'll find the light of the day someday or other for hope is the spirit that never dies and keeps burning with-in. Now its only for the time to tell what it has in store for each one of us. But the days gone by will never return and would remain one of the hardest and longest lesson learnt in our lives.
So herez me ending the post again on a hopeful note though being surrounded by deep shit. One at this stage can have either of the attitudes. To stay positive and hopeful that things would change for the better and work for it or rather call it quits and save the rest of the years from going up in ashes and get back to chasing the dreams or whatever we had been longing for all the while.
Success they say is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far ;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.
I QUIT.....
For I shall get back to my ways after long days of hibernation. And Success is defined only as
To laugh often and love much;
To win the respect of intelligent persons
and the affection of children;
To earn the approval of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends ;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give off one's self without the
slightest thought of return;
To have accomplished a task, whether
by a healthy child, a rescued soul, a
garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with
Enthusiasm and sung with exaltation;
To know that even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.
Have a great day guyz....... And thanks for the read...
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