What am i now from what i was once - A Self-Intorspection - Musings

I came home this evening letting out a wild outcry not knowing what to do. I feel like the time-out is running fast as my life goes on. I have so many things to do, I keep so many things in my mind and feeling like im running out of space, I have so many things to follow that I couldn’t even keep the trace of. Everything seems to be too much for me nowadays…

This state of fear fused with frail had posed me this introspection. What am I now from what I was a while before… A while ??? I think that while to me is from the serene days I had evolved rapidly during my college days. Those were the times I was consistently competing with my own limits. I had been able to do lot of things other than studying. Its not just that the projects (a lot) that I had worked and lent my hand that gave me the confidence to face the world, its that I had felt complete as a man. I had answers for my own questions (I was able to answer them). I felt like I was versatile enough to handle things (which turned out to be something the industries dislike. They need only performers not all-rounders is what they prefer to call it).

Now that being consistently underperforming and lowering my bar from time to time. Every milestone in my life seems far away fading inside my dreams (not so i had dreamt of). I had decided back then to work for atleast five years or so before i start in pursuit of my dream not as a kind of breather but just as some time to gain some positives Viz., mental, financial, knowledge, Experience (both in life & work which is why i prefered to stay with friends instead of staying with relatives), Vision, Information and lot more.... But it all turned out be lack of all of them and instead i gained alot of others Viz., weight (a lot of them losing my fitness levels wonder if i can call it that), introversion, lack of self-confidence and what not...

These i feel are only as a result of projecting yourself as an ill-performer doing mean things. Not being fed with right input to crunch for my brain is one thing and adding to that is my lacklustre life. I've been completely out of my mind doing whatever i feel im getting pleasure from. Resting my body, reading pot-boilers, straying out of my sane lifestyle, literally living an erroneous life...

However its completely wrong to blame my life @ work, work ethics or people around me for what i am and for what i am not. They are simply the way i wanted. If i can think of some positives its so sad that there are none to boost my confidence to the extent i can feel my fingers shaking whenever i try doing something challenging myself. My mind is completely working in curtailed space a kind of safe-mode just before destruction.

I hope to comeback from this state of mind / fear to the world where everything makes sense to me. I was often characterized by ppl referring to me everything they feel problamatic for i had solutions for most of them. I had once been an a salient person, prominent in the backyards of my department in college. i was accustomed to such a state of living. Now that being no one in a large cauldron i feel like im losing myself not having enough things or not being fed enough to crunch. However best i tried to indulge myself to keep myself busy i failed the harder making me still lowering my bars.

I hope to change my ill-fortune. I hope to bounce back to my life again, getting back to road after a wayward behaviour. I hope to make sense to mystelf and to others. I hope, i hope.... As Andy dufranse says in Shawshank Redemption, "Remember Hope is a good thing". And here i hope to become a man again still beliving things would turn up for me.

I was thinking about everything, writing about whatever comes to my mind, reflecting deeply on every nuances of life, creating whatever i thought, doing whatever i liked at some point of time i felt like im all set to conquer the world. But atlast the annhilation led me nowhere. Now, Im stuck with myself. The way i kept laughing others for their state of helplessness. I've become one myself. Now i think i shall show them how to comeback in life just as my dada did time after time. It may look like a fairytale but that is how winners work. That is how winning is done.

This reminds me of the Stallone's dialogue in his Rocky balboa -08. Something which i feel like my father or even my grandpa (if alive) would've told the same. These are the times i really miss my grandpa who really made me who iam literally from nowhere...

I'd hold you up to say to your mother, "this kid's gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid's gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew." And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilige. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life. Don't forget to visit your mother.

I think this introspection gave me a lot of postives to think about. And much importantly to vent out my negatives, to speak my heart out to see if mean something. I also request readers (if you care) to give me feedback on the same. I think i've mused enough again.

Best wishes to all u guyz for a Prosperous new year !! Hope this year and the years to come would bring us what we deserved and if one doors opens to another door lets close not our hope as we keep on walking till we find another window... But more than anything my wish for you all is that this life becomes all that you want it to be and your dreams stay big, you never need to carry more than what you can hold and i hope u all know somebody loves you and you love others.. Godspeed

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Teach India: Share what you've learnt

'Teach India' Campaign, a TOI initiative

The Times of India brings you a chance to give back what you've learnt; calling upon educated Indians like you to help teach underprivileged children though the 'Teach India' campaign.

Teach India is an initiative by The Times of India to help provide an equal opportunity for education to underprivileged children. The aim of Teach India is to provide a platform to educated Indians to provide assistance in basic education to the unprivileged children.

Teach India will connect educated individuals with the specialist education providers The Times of India has tied up with select NGOs in the field of education in multiple cities across India.

Scores of underprivileged children have got dreams in their eyes and a smile on their lips, but not are lucky enough to laugh and learn. Infact, half the children in our country don't even get a chance to go to school, because their family cannot afford to send them or because there is no one to teach them.

But now, thanks to the Times of India Campaign 'Teach India', YOU can volunteer and help educate our future generation.

Shaheen Mistry, founder of Akanskha - an NGO feels, "Teach India is an incredibly important project because the biggest thing we need in our nation are great teachers... Having a concrete campaign that you can be a part of, knowing that you are not alone and that you do make a difference as one person; but thousands of people together can make a significant difference...I think that helps a lot of people to take a step."

So believes, Geeta Dharmarajan, executive director of Katha. She says, "We hope that this campaign will be successful and hope that not just thousand but may be two thousand people are able to come in with us and work with us...making their life a little more fun and little more pleasurable and more satisfactory."How can you volunteer?

To volunteer, log onto http://www.teach.timesofindia.com and fill in the form online Or SMS TEACH to 58888 for details.TOI will then connect the volunteer to an NGO. If selected, the volunteer will be given a basic orientation. The teaching sessions will begin shortly thereafter.How much time do you need to devote?Just two hours a week for three months.

What do you teach them?Depending on your skill, you can impart basic education or even take informal sessions like story-telling. All they needs is two hours of your time each week. So, be a part of the 'Teach India' Campaign to educate our future generation and the love they will give you back will stay with you forever!

Phone in shirt pocket? Must be an Indian

Phone in shirt pocket? Must be an Indian - Anand Parthasarathy ( THE HINDU)

Singapore: Six out of ten male owners of mobile phones worldwide, carry them in their trouser pockets — and the same proportion of women use a hand bag or purse. But there are interesting regional and cultural variations –— and the world biggest maker of mobiles has an entire team of anthropologists, sociologists and human behaviour experts to study how people around the world communicate with each other, so that the devices it makes can suit the tastes and trends in different geographies.

You carry your phone in a belt pouch? Then you can’t be Japanese. They just hate to be seen doing that. But older, less fashionable users in many countries can be still seen securing their phones that way. In Delhi 11 percent of phone carriers use a strap of some kind to secure their phones.

Three of ten men who use their pant pockets and half of all women who use a hand bag, tend to miss some calls because they can’t get their phones out fast enough. The men in some parts of India — mostly in the south, fare better. Why? Because they tend to use their shirt pocket to carry their phones and are therefore “faster on the draw.” And why the shirt pocket?, because they are probably wearing a dhoti or ‘mundu’ and have no other convenient receptacle! In fact the study team recommended that the message alert light should be placed on the top surface of the phone so that it will be seen more easily by such users.

Insights like these have emerged from regional studies conducted by the Finland-based Nokia’s human behavioural unit of its Design Team. Jan Chipchase, a member of the team who spoke to The Hindu on the sidelines of the compan y’s annual showcase of new products and technologies which concluded here on Wednesday, will be in Mumbai next week to lead its latest research exercise ... to understand how residents in shanty towns such as Dharavi, manage their communication needs and in what way a mobile phone maker can help them.

Nokia’s specially designed, ‘made for India,’ phones such as the N 1100, were created in response to lessons from such studies on the subcontinent, Mr. Chipchase said.

The phone, which had special dust proofing and came with a built-in torch, answered customer wish lists in India.

Nokia studies also revealed Indian customers’ urge to protect their phones from extra wear and tear — by enclosing them in plastic covers. In fact the company was surprised to see that even customers who paid premium prices to acquire ultra thin models then sacrificed the advantage by encasing the hand set in a thick case.

This also grew out of Indian inclination to trade the phone when they bought a better model --— rather than throwing or giving it away.

The need in fast growing, developing markets such as India for 2-3 users in a family to share a phone also prompted Nokia to introduce models such as the 12000 and 1208 with multiple address books.

What next? The behavioural team is looking ahead, 10 to 15 years from now, to try and second guess human trends.

Important Utility (TollFree) Numbers in India

With the former Telecommunication Minister of India, Dayanidhi Maran's, revolutionary changes in the India Telecommunications fields, including the single STD code for the entire district, single STD tariff for the entire country from sometime January in 2006.

Perhaps, we have also discussed sometime back about Number Portability in India which is also currently in research by TRAI (Telecom Regulatory Authority of India).

Somewhere in the hardcopy pamplet in Chennai, I got hold of a list of Utility Telephone Numbers to reach in case of emergencies and to avail services of service providers with a single telephone number all over India.

I just thought instead of just keeping it as a small pamplet, I can share it with other readers for full use of the same.

Please note that most of these numbers beginning with 1-600 would be restricted to BSNL or MTNL Network powered telephones only. Of late, I don't think other service providers are so much mature or open enough to support these numbers for the country sake.

Please feel free to update this section with the contact numbers you know as comments and/or also contact me so that I can update the main category also.


Emergency:
Police Control Room: 100
Fire and Rescue Services: 101
Ambulance: 102
Traffic Emergency 103
Apollo Emergency 1066 (select cities only)


Banking Institutions:
Citibank 1600 44 22 65
Development Credit Bank 1600 22 57 69
HDFC Bank 1600 227 227
ICICI Bank 1600 333 499
ICICI Bank NRI 1600 22 48 48
IDBI Bank 1600 11 69 99
Indian Bank 1600 44 14 00
ING Vysya 1600 44 99 00
Kotak Mahindra Bank 1600 22 60 22
Punjab National Bank 1600 12 22 22
State Bank of India 1600 44 19 55
Syndicate Bank 1600 44 66 55


Non-Banking Finance Institutions:
Shriram Chits 1600 44 18 33
AMP Sanmar 1600 44 22 00
Aviva 1600 33 22 44
Bajaj Allianz 1600 22 58 58
Chola MS General Insurance 1600 44 55 44
HDFC Standard Life 1600 227 227
LIC 1600 33 44 33
Max New York Life 1600 33 55 77
Royal Sundaram 1600 33 88 99
SBI Life Insurance 1600 22 90 90
CAMS 1600 44 22 67
Chola Mutual Fund 1600 22 23 00
Fidelity Investments 1600 180 8000
Franklin Templeton Fund 1600 44 44 77
J M Morgan Stanley 1600 22 00 04
Tata Mutual Fund 1600 22 01 01
LIC Housing Finance 1600 44 00 05


Mobile Service Centers:
BenQ 1600 22 08 08
Motorola MotoAssist 1600 11 12 11


Educational Institutions:
Edu Plus 1600 444 000
Hindustan College 1600 33 44 38
NCERT 1600 11 12 65
Vellore Institute of Technology 1600 44 15 55


Travel Service Providers:
Club Mahindra Holidays 1600 33 45 39
Cox & Kings 1600 22 12 35
God TV Tours 1600 44 27 77
Kerala Tourism 1600 444 747
Kumarakom Lake Resort 1600 44 50 30
Raj Travels & Tours 1600 22 99 00
Sita Tours 1600 111 911 SOTC
Tours 1600 22 33 44
UPS APC 1600 44 42 72
Numeric 1600 44 32 66


Telecommunications:
Telecom Monitoring Cell 1600 110 420


Shopping Spree:
Asian Sky Shop 1600 22 1600
Jaipan Teleshoppe 1600 11 52 25
Tele Brands 1600 11 80 00
VMI Teleshopping 1600 44 77 77
WWS Teleshopping 1600 22 07 77


Social Responsibilty Services
World Vision India 1600 444 550


Power Supply:
Jaiprakash Hydro-Power Ltd 1600 180 11 09
Tamil Nadu Electricity Board 1912 (in Chennai)
Quick BiteDomino Pizza 1600 111 123
Hotel Saravana BhavanChennai 1901445577
New Delhi 1901115577
PhotographyKodak India 1600 22 88 77
Pet CarePedigree 1600 11 21 21


Home Services and HouseKeeping Paints and Emulsion:
Asian Paints Home Solutions 1600 22 56 78
Berger Paints Home Decor 1600 33 88 00


Packers and Movers:
Agarwal Packers & Movers 1600 11 43 21
Associated Packers P Ltd 1600 21 45 60
Goel Packers & Movers 1600 11 34 56
ConsumableAavin Milk and Diary 1600 44 33 00
DecorKurl-on 1600 44 04 04
Sleepwell 1600 11 22 66
LPGIndane 1600 44 51 15


Drawing Room Helpdesks:
Aiwa/Sony 1600 11 11 88
Blue Star 1600 22 22 00
Bose Audio 1600 11 26 73
Bru Coffee Vending Machines 1600 44 71 71
DishTV 1600 12 34 74
Faber Chimneys 1600 21 45 95
Godrej 1600 22 55 11
Grundfos Pumps 1600 33 45 55
Philips 1600 22 44 22
Samsung 1600 11 34 44
Sanyo 1600 11 01 01
Voltas 1600 33 45 46
WorldSpace Satellite Radio 1600 44 54 32
Anytime AnyInfo 1947 (Chennai only)
HealthcareBest on Health 1600 11 88 99
Dr Batras 1600 11 67 67
GlaxoSmithKline 1600 22 87 97
Johnson & Johnson 1600 22 81 11
Kaya Skin Clinic 1600 22 52 92
LifeCell 1600 44 53 23
Manmar Technologies 1600 33 44 20
Pfizer 1600 442 442
Roche Accu-Chek 1600 11 45 46
Rudraksha 1600 21 47 08
Varilux Lenses 1600 44 83 83
VLCC 1600 33 12 62


Cosmetics and Beauty Treatments:
L'Oréal, GARNIeR 1600 22 30 00
Kaya Skin Clinic 1600 22 52 92


Couriers and Logistic Services:
DHL 1600 111 345
FedEx 1600 22 61 61
UPS 1600 22 71 71


Holidays and Hotel Bookings:
GRT Grand 1600 44 55 00
InterContinental Hotels Group 1600 111 000
Marriott 1600 22 00 44
Sarovar Park Plaza 1600 111 222
Taj Holidays 1600 111 825
Software SolutionsAdrenalin 1600 44 44 45
Canon 1600 33 33 66
Cisco Systems 1600 22 17 77
Compaq - HP 1600 444 999
Data One Broadband 1600 424 1600
Dell 1600 444 026
Epson 1600 44 00 11
Genesis Tally Academy 1600 444 888
IBM 1600 44 33 33
Lexmark 1600 22 44 77
Marshal's Point 1600 33 44 88
Microsoft 1600 11 11 00
Microsoft Virus Update 1901 33 33 34
Symantec 1600 44 55 33
TVS Electronics 1600 444 566
WeP Peripherals 1600 44 64 46
Wipro 1600 33 33 12
Zenith 1600 22 20 04

A Poem Agains War - by Leslye Layne Russell

Iraq

dark

dark eyes

dark eyes of the children

say no

say no don't

say no don't do it

again

say no don't do it

say no don't

say no

dark eyes of the children

dark eyes

dark

© January 2003 Leslye Layne RussellThis poem was published in Black Spring Online in 2003 andin Black Spring (print) Winter 2004. It was also published in poets against war in 2003 and was included in the collectiongiven to the White House by Sam Hammill.

Flying Economy : Q1 9.3% Growth

Indian economy grows surprise 9.3 percent in Q1

NEW DELHI — India's economy accelerated by a surprise 9.3 percent in the first quarter as industry and services grew strongly but a slowdown loomed, analysts warned Friday.

The quicker pace of growth in the April to June period in South Asia's largest economy exceeded analysts' expectations of around 8.9 percent and outpaced the 9.1 percent expansion in the previous quarter, data showed.

"The GDP figures have come in strong," said Manika Premsingh at Edelweiss Capital, but she warned of slower expansion in coming quarters as a result of a steady tightening of monetary policy to curb inflation.

India's economy grew by 9.4 percent in the financial year to March 2007, buoyed by an increasingly affluent middle class, and is the second-fastest growing after China.

Finance minister P. Chidambaram said he was "confident GDP growth will remain close to nine per cent this year" even though first-quarter growth was "a shade below" the 9.6 percent expansion logged in the year-ago period.

Other data Friday showed inflation slipped just below four percent for the first time in over 15 months for the week ended August 18, down from 4.10 percent the previous week and well under central bank targets.

But economists said the fall in the wholesale price index, India's closest watched inflation measure, was mainly due to a high year-ago base effect when inflation was 5.12 percent.

"For now, it does not seem likely the central bank will loosen rates in a hurry... (as) the economy continues to grow at an above trend pace," said Premsingh.

The latest growth figures reflected a robust performance by manufacturing, which grew by 11.9 percent year-on-year. Services accelerated by 10.6 percent.

Agriculture, which the government is hoping to stimulate to boost overall growth, expanded by 3.8 percent.
"Construction has surprised on the upside and agriculture has turned out a bit stronger than expected," said Soumitra Choudhury, economic advisor at credit rating agency ICRA.

The growth data helped to lift India's benchmark Sensex index by 1.30 percent or 196.86 points to 15,318.60, for its sixth straight day of gains.

"The GDP numbers were strong in absolute terms, it was a good indicator for the market," said Naresh Garg, chief investment officer at Sahara Mutual fund.

The better growth data prompted some economists to boost full-year forecasts.

But the economy would still expand more slowly this year than last, when growth was the fastest in nearly two decades, according to their predictions.

Monetary tightening may already be cooling the economy. Sales of cars, motorbikes and trucks have dropped as interest rates have surged to five-year highs. Consumer durables spending has also fallen.

JP Morgan said it would likely hike its full-year growth forecast to around 8.6 percent from 8.0 percent earlier. India's central bank has forecast 8.5 percent growth.

"Growth in the remainder of the year will moderate slightly owing to the combined impact of monetary tightening and recent rupee appreciation," said JP Morgan economist Rajeev Malik, who forecast a "pronounced" slowdown in consumer spending.

The rupee is trading at around eight-year highs against the dollar after hitting close to decade peaks earlier this year.

Many analysts said India was relatively protected from the US subprime crisis, noting the direct exposure of domestic banks to the credit woes is limited.

But some analysts warned the subprime turmoil could cause a "significant" slowdown if it persists for more than a few months, for instance if it staunches foreign investment flows into India.

India's Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has said the economy needs to grow by at least 10 percent annually to address widespread, crushing poverty.

Is total transparency good?

*** an interesting article by someone ***

I'm finally catching up on some backed up reading, including a month-old Wired magazine with the titillating cover story "Get Naked!".No, it's not what you think. The main story and some ancillary ones are about corporations who become totally transparent (naked) in relation to their staff, their board, their customers and their stockholders. Well worth the read. It's issue 15.04.

The stories range from coming out a bit, to total transparency and the resulting benefits. All of this led to some long discussions with people I respect, and some careful thoughts about this concept.

I've long advocated sharing much, much more information internally, including all of your financials with all of your staff (unless you have a union). I've told dozens of clients to share their draft strategic plan with their community. I tell everyone to post a link to their current 990 and most recent audit on the first page of their website.

But share everything? Nah. As a former ED, I can tell you that sharing MOST of my thoughts got me in trouble at times. Imagine this: income is down, you are thinking about a long term restructuring, and you muse about this in your blog. The action is 10-15% likely and perhaps a year away. EVERYONE, and I mean EVERY ONE on the staff will immediately assume that they will lose their job in the next 37 minutes. Same for the people you serve.


Some stuff you just have to keep to yourself.In one article, a CEO blogged and dissed his peers and some subordinates. Ohhh, bad idea. Have your dissing face to face, and keep the arguments inside the family. And, think of the HR implications!Bottom line for me: sharing--good. Lots of sharing--better. Financial transparency--essential.Get naked? Could get ugly. Fast.